Particulars


Professions


Recreations


Adventures

What is my life like? Well, to get a good, close look at what's been happening for the past three years, see The DonWatch Journal, the journal I kept as Don and I went through his illness and death. I still update it from time to time with the unfinished business of his memorials, his poetry (now available through Beautiful Dreamer Press), and the grieving process.

Prior to Don's illness, I kept a journal of my experiences as I explored new ideas, tried new (and sometimes scarey) activities, and reflected on my relationships with my family and the men I was meeting and dating. I wrote about these adventures partly to keep them in mind and partly to help me examine them intimately and honestly. The journal is part diary, part confessional, part meditation. It's the record of a gay man's journey through life. Because of their personal nature, you are advised not to read them if you find intimate personal details, including sexual material, offensive.

Autumn Adventures, 1998

Summer's adventures may have been full of daring-do, but nothing compares to the guts I had to muster to pull off this autumn's biggest news: I've quit my job at Sybase and gone to work for Glyphic Technologies. This change means a significant drop in annual salary and a noticeable reduction in benefits. But it is the job I have been saying I was looking for and working towards ever since coming to Silicon Valley. Now I have to see if I can really cut it. Stay tuned.

Summer Adventures, 1998

The Grand Summer Adventure of 1998 is over. I'm beginning to translate my journal entries into legible form. I've completed a calendar to help you navigate to the entries. However, I haven't debugged all the links yet, so don't be surprised if you get a few "file note found" errors. You can still skip the narrative and check out the poems that the trip inspired or the unedited pictures I took with my digital camera. Plus, by popular demand (e.g., sheer narcissism), here is a link to the X-rays of my broken arm (with thanks to Patrick).
Spring Adventures, 1998
I'm adjusting to my new home and my new lack of disposable income. Actually, all my income is disposable now, and it's disposed of immediately. My housemate is proving to be someone I can live with. My relationship with Curtis has its ups and downs. My relationship with Don seems to be going rather well. I am planning for my grand summer vacation, and it looks like it's shaping up to be a great deal of fun, involving many of my friends and a few of my family.
Sybase continues its long slide toward dissolution, and that has me worried. And sad. It was a fine place until the East Coasters look over. What a bunch of jerks.

Winter Adventures, 1997-98
I spent Christmas alone in my new house. I did this by choice. Although the house has proved to be more expensive than I thought, I suppose I could have scraped enough money together to visit the folks back in Wisconsin again this year, but I really felt the need to be alone. I even turned down a Christmas invitation from a gentleman I'm dating. At first, I was afraid I had made the wrong decision, that I'd feel lonely and blue being by myself. But quite the opposite happened. Both Christmas Eve and Christmas were very relaxing, tending only to myself and my needs, which were simple: a movie and a good Mystery! episode on PBS. Two days after Christmas, Luke and Patrick came to visit for five days. They were delightful. I don't think I've had a more enjoyable holiday season in years. I'm looking forward to seeing them again when I start my sabbatical sojourns this summer. The financial and logistic planning for the sabbatical have forced me to conclude that I must rent out the master bedroom in order to have the income I need. It will be a shame to give up living alone, but the benefits will be worth it. I already have a lodger in mind, and he will move in in February.


Autumn Adventures, 1997
I bought a refrigerator, a stove, a washer and dryer, and a bookcase for the new house, and ordered new drapes for the two larger bedrooms. Then I ran out of money. In the process, I also had the floors refinished, replaced the linoleum in the master bathroom with tile, and insulated the attic. Then I called up all my friends and neighbors and had a combination house warming and birthday party. During the party, I had a pot of melted beeswax in the kitchen with a sheet of virgin beeswqax beside it. Each guest tore off a piece of the wax, thought of a wish or blessing, then rolled the wax up and dropped it into the pot. At the end of the evening, I poured a candle from the melted wax. From Autumn Equinox to Halloween, I burned that candle in my kitchen window every night I was home and thought of all those wishes and blessings filling the air.


Summer Adventures, 1997
I've bought a house. Eeeek! But first, I went to a Science Writers' Workshop in Santa Fe, New Mexico, followed by a high school reunion in Murphysboro, Illiois. Both were very enjoyable. August saw a return trip to Rancho Cicada for square dancing au natural. It was definitely a relief from the pressures of work and home ownership.
But the big new is definitely the house. I am going so far into debt to buy it that I finally feel like a real American.


Spring Adventures, 1997
Well, something must have happened between April and June, but I sure don't remember what!


Winter Adventures, 1997
I had a wonderful time attending a week-long Body Electric workshop at Kalani Hanua, Hawaii.


Autumn Adventures, 1996
September brought me to my forty-sixth birthday, a time to reflect on the men in my life. In October, I went to see the "final" display of the Quilt, completing a sort of circle. As part of that weekend, I celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving with Brian and Kent and several other good people. The American Thanksgiving I celebrated in November was, by contrast, complex and confusing, with an interesting aftermath. Perhaps the most moving experience this fall, one that still provokes insights and dreams, was the erotic massage workshop I took through Body Electric. The year closes with my spending Christmas with my sisters and mother in Wisconsin, and then traveling on to visit other relatives in the state.

Summer Adventures, 1996
This summer, I visited a Tibetan Buddhist temple on the Northern California coast, attended GALA V in Tampa, Florida, went backpacking in Yosemite, spent a weekend in a Benedictine monastery, and camped out in the Sierra foothills with 50 other gay men, where we all had fun square dancing in the nude. I finished up the summer spending a wonderful Labor Day weekend at a friend's house.