To Bob
If I were over you
The flowers by the couch would seem
A miracle to move a heart
Grown silent and inert.
Instead, I only note
The arc of color in the room,
How orderly it looks, complete
And empty as the air.
August 1998
After thinking about this poem for a few weeks, I have come up with
the following revision. Is it better? I'm not sure. It more
closely captures the feeling of the original vision in my dream
and paints an immediate contrast. But has it become artificial?
You be the judge.
To Bob (revised)
If I were over you
The flowers by the couch would fling
Their wild thoughts around the room
And ring my heart with sound.
Instead, I only note
The arc of color in the vase,
How orderly it seems, remote
And empty, like a face.
September 1998
© 1998, Louis G. Ceci